excursions and perceptions.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Tents and sleepunders.

Our inspiration...

Our tent!

Tea time!

Peacock tapestry I bought yesterday at a flea market for 4 euro.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Traveling often evokes an identity crisis within me. I’ve been a part of bits and pieces of many different cultures but never know which one is mine. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t white. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t American. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t blonde. Then I dye my hair and wish I wasn’t brunette. There are many different voices, opinions, and standards telling me what beautiful is and frankly… I have NO idea how to define it. I’ve changed my own mind about what makes something or someone beautiful time and time again, each time with a little more confusion and a little less certainty than the time before.

What is beauty?

The fact that I don’t even know which community I belong to/ want to belong to/ am accepted in, makes me feel much more lost in this area than the average bear who’s community defines beauty for him. I find myself chasing people’s ideals of beauty and imitating them, trying to find out what it is for myself. I just want be me. Easy for someone else to say. But what if I don’t know what me is supposed to look like, to say, or how me is supposed to act? Half the time, I don’t know what I’m “supposed” to do based on “where I’m from” because I don’t even know from where I hail.

What is beauty?

I don’t have a label. I don’t fit into any predetermined category. Who am I? Which identities do I embrace? And for when and what? When is it appropriate to change to be a part of your current culture and community? Beauty should be interchangeable in all settings, right? How do I stay the same person all the time? SHOULD I stay the same person all the time or be adapting to my location? And it goes beyond clothes and skin and gestures. How do I value ANYTHING without a working definition of beauty? What things are and SHOULD be valued as beautiful?

What is beauty?

God is my rock and foundation. I need to begin this search with Him and let His word transform my warped views of beauty and my identity. I am confused. I am fickle. I am broken. God is strong. God never changes. God restores the broken. I am inadequate. I am weak. I am dirty. God is perfect beauty. Jesus’ death is perfect beauty. What God created was good and beautiful. Then we messed that up with sin. With Jesus’ sacrifice, all my ugly shortcomings and weaknesses are covered and God only sees Jesus’ beautiful and perfect love. Jesus’ love has made my heart beautiful. Love has given this soul purpose. Love has turned something ugly into something beautiful.

What is beauty?

When I think of the people in my life who I find most beautiful, it is those who are Jesus’ hands and feet. Who are selfless servants. Those who love with all they have. Romans 10:15 says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!”

What is beauty?

I may never fully be a part of any one community. I many never completely share ideals of beauty with a given society. But I do know who I am in Christ. And I do know that His love has made me beautiful. I am still a broken vessel but I am also a child of the Redeemer. I hope He will use me- inadequate on my own- to serve and love Him and others.

“Love will make you beautiful.” The Afters

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Philosophy of Summer

Taking Philosophy of Education Fall semester of this year sparked my love for philosophies. So far I have written my philosophy of life, philosophy of education, and philosophy of discipline. And now here I am developing my philosophy of summer. Many more philosophies to come.

Our culture says summer is “time off.” Time off from being responsible. Time off from discipline. Time off from prayer and spiritual growth. Time off from hard work. Time off from wise choices. It’s easy to convince myself that I am ENTITLED to a “break” from all things difficult. We are saturated with a culture that whispers, “You DESERVE to sleep all day, to eat whatever you want, to make any decisions you want, to do NOTHING with eternal significance etc.” We become irresponsible, lazy, and gluttonous but justify all of these as acceptable and expected because we “deserve” them. This time is for me. It’s my summer. I do what I want. Why does our culture entertain this idea and embrace its meaninglessness? Unfortunately, our culture is always focused on “me”. Life is about you as an individual and what you can do to be happy, comfortable, and at ease. But I am FREE from the bondage of this world. Romans 6:5-6 says, “ For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection, knowing this, that our old self was crucified with Him, in order that our body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be slaves to sin…” (NASB).

I am accountable to Him for all the things I choose to do and don’t choose to do this summer. Everyday is a GIFT- an opportunity to love and a chance to bring glory to the Creator. Why have I dismissed summertime from this before? My view of summer began developing and being transformed two years ago while I was sitting in Lit & Arts II with Ms. Mellon (I mean Mrs. Ebersole). She was sharing her testimony during Missions Week, which in general I related to a lot and was really encouraged by. At one point she shared her journey to Nepal. She talked about her “ideal” summer plans previous to her 1^st summer trip to Nepal- plain and simple- she wanted to spend the summer on the beach. But for SOME reason, she just couldn’t justify that in her mind anymore. She couldn’t sit on the beach when she could and should be serving God. When I first heard this, I was surprised and even offended because my OWN plans to sit on the beach all summer had just been disturbed. How could she insinuate that my own plan to just relax and treat myself to a break from serving God was wrong? I was so consumed in our culture’s view of personal entitlement that I couldn’t see God’s big picture. Yes, I desperately needed a break from schoolwork. And it is definitely a wonderful thing to enjoy the outdoors and a less insane schedule. But there is a HUGE difference between REST and LAZYNESS. God Himself rested on the seventh day. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-29, “Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest in your souls.” (NASB) But we are also called at ALL times to love God and love others. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering.” (NIV).

This quote sums it up well:

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.” ~Sir John Lubbock

So go enjoy EVERY DAY God has blessed you with and LOVE to the fullest. Carpe diem. Seize the day.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

People watching in Terminal E

I love people watching. Especially in the Boston-Logan Airport, Terminal E, where all the international flights go out. I always have a long layover of at least 5 hours and this time I decided to tally some commonalties I observed. On my journey back home two days ago, I observed the international travelers that made their way past me. After watching people for around 2 hours some of my favorite things I saw were..

Fanny packs (7)

Man-pris (3)

Aladdin pants (2)

Dreads (4)

Mullets (5)

Wheelies (1) (And I wished I was wearing them. I was in the 45 minute grown up line to check my bag instead of twirling around carefree.)

"Go forth seeking adventure. Open your eyes, your ears, your mind, your heart, your spirit and you’ll find adventure everywhere." -Wilferd A. Peterson

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Reflecting on Urban Practicum...

Confucius once stated, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.” I believe all three of Confucius’ components to wisdom are applicable to me as I process and make sense of Urban Seminar.

Previous to this, I had never had any extensive experience in an urban setting. To my surprise, I found a lot of similarities between my experiences with international education and with urban education.

I specifically found a lot of similarities between my cultural experiences in Uganda and my cultural experiences in Philadelphia. In Uganda, there is an assumption from Americans that the children are in need of material possessions and help from Americans. Statements are made such as: “How can they live like this”, “I can’t wait to go home and use a real shower”, and “everything here is dirty”. I found myself slipping into this mindset and wanting to “fix” their “problems” and measuring their standard of living up to mine and assuming the difference must be wrong. However, this is extremely arrogant of me as an American to think WE have the answers and the power to “make the world right”, “right” meaning to make the world westernized like us. Just because we do something one way and Ugandans do it another way does not mean that one way is RIGHT or superior to the other. In the same way, I found similar assumptions to be present in the urban setting of Philadelphia. I overheard the same statements here: “How do they live like this”, “I can’t wait to go home and have a room that’s actually clean”, and “everything is so ghetto here”. I again felt myself slipping into the pattern of elevating my way of living above another way and assuming that this group of people or culture needed some reform.

Who exactly is the “they” I am stigmatizing in both situations? What are the implications of the way I define words like “real”, “dirty”, and “ghetto”? How can I justify getting the slightest glimpse of another’s culture and yet jumping to an enormous generalization about a population as a whole? No matter what culture I am blessed to observe and participate in, MY way of living is not superior to another, just different. Imposing my way of life is not only rude and offensive to someone from a different setting, but it implies that I am arrogant and unwilling to view life through their eyes.

Stereotypes run deep and are often a part of our unconsciousness. These are something I found present in both my experiences in Uganda and in Philadelphia. A common stereotype in Uganda: All Ugandans live in poverty. A common stereotype in Philadelphia: All urban parents don’t care about their children and their education. These well meaning but extremely misleading statements stigmatize these specific populations and perpetuate misconceptions and false representations. When given careful consideration, these statements are absurd. When my experiences with just a FRACTION of these two populations are examined it becomes evident that all the Ugandans I came in contact with did NOT live in poverty and that all of the urban parents I came in contact with were NOT unconcerned with their children’s education.

Let’s take another look at the way I’m defining my words. Poverty. What is poverty? Do I mean physical poverty? As in, they do not have the physical conveniences and comforts the typical American lifestyle entertains? Or do I mean spiritual poverty? Or poverty within relationships in the community? And if we do mean physical poverty, do those conveniences that we prize so highly as a developed country help us to become independent or cause us to become dependent on man made machines? Our ideas of “right” and “best” should be challenged and pondered before we are so bold as to label them with absolutes. How about the word “unconcerned”? Am I accusing parents of neglect? Violence? Apathy? It is ridiculous to assume that urban parents in Philadelphia love their children less than other parents do. Perhaps our misconception of unconcern is really a parent encouraging his or her student to be independent or a lack of the parent knowing what is expected from him or her. Before making rash accusations, we should dig deeper and be open to learning rather than fitting a situation into our previous schema.

I found something else through my experiences in Uganda and Philadelphia- I found my passion. Upon returning from Uganda and Rwanda and reading and researching about Sudan I became passionate about education as a vehicle for empowering people towards social change and conflict resolution. I dismissed teaching in the US from my future job radar because in this country clearly you can’t teach to promote social change (or at least my uneducated presuppositions told me so). I wanted to teach children who had fewer opportunities, who were at a disadvantage by their circumstances, and who had challenges to overcome. Then I taught for two weeks in Philadelphia and was blown away by the similar challenges I saw children face daily. THESE children too need education for empowerment. THESE children too need social change and conflict resolution. But this is NOT about me giving my students something. I want to be a guide for my students on their journey to excellence but I will also be LEARNING alongside them and from them.

I realized my passion does not belong solely to Africa. My passion belongs to every child who is fighting for an education to make a change and have a brighter future. I do not aspire to be a teacher who will define what “change” and “brighter future” mean to my students. I aspire to be a teacher who can equip my students with the abilities and tools to find out with that means for themselves, independently of me. I am passionate about teaching and my students. I am passionate about God and loving others. And I believe that I can use all of these passions to the fullest for the glory of God no matter where He leads me.