This summer I spent six weeks in Uganda. My dear friend and roommate, Krista, joined me a week later. We volunteered with two different organizations while we were there, one of them being a children’s library with ACCLs (Africa Christian Children’s Libraries) and the other an organization that worked with street children (Dwelling Places). I have many stories of people who touched my life and taught me so much but for right now I will just share one.
Krista and I met a family through another volunteer at Dwelling Places. We approached their small home and I noticed about 6 or 7 children around the home. This, however, isn’t uncommon for Ugandan home- families are fluid, everyone is welcome, and your neighbor is your friend. The mother, Agnes, came outside and warmly greeted us and thanked us for coming. Inside, there was a small baby, named Michelle, sitting on the coach. My eyes were instantly drawn to her frail malnourished body. I held her regardless of her mother insisting I should set her down because she might su-su (pee) on me. After we left, I thought to myself that it was so sad the baby was so tiny for her age (she was 7 months old but the size of a newborn) and I told my mom about her that evening on the phone and just said, “It was so sad”. But I had no intentions of going back or helping the family. “What can I do? I don’t want to be the typical American who pities people and then throws money at them. Wouldn’t it be patronizing if I showed up at their house because I felt sorry for them? And because I have more than them, does that make it ok for me to just come back with gifts or food?” These were just some of the many thoughts going through my head.
Krista told me she wanted to go back the following day. I was hesitant of how Agnes would view this, especially because Krista wanted to buy yogurt for Michelle and lollipops for the rest of the kids. If we went back, I wanted to go back as friends and build a friendship that was two way and not based on us giving material things and her receiving.
I went back that day with Krista. I had been so consumed with the obvious condition of Michelle the first time we visited that I didn’t even notice another baby sitting in the corner of the room crying. This time I saw her. Trust seemed “healthy” compared to Michelle. She was 1 ½ and although smaller than most 1 ½ olds in the US, she didn’t look malnourished. I picked her up and held her and she lay limp in my arms. She seemed to have a silent yet steady trickle of tears running down her face. She never smiled or giggled. When given food, she would eat one bean and then just start crying harder as if it physically pained her to even eat. My heart broke for her. I told Agnes that we could and should take Trust to the clinic because something clearly was wrong. Agnes did not have the money for the clinic but Krista and I told her we would pay for it. Thankfully, what Trust had was an easily treatable bacterial infection of some kind. On our last day at Dwelling Places, Agnes made us lunch and we said goodbye. Trust smiled for the first time I had ever seen on that day. That smile meant the world to me.
After returning several times throughout our stay at Dwelling Places, I began collecting pieces of the Agnes’ story. Agnes comes from the Congo and has experienced many horrific and difficult times. By the time she was 15, both of her parents had been killed. She was left with two options: go to the streets and survive through prostitution and/or begging or get married. She chose to get married because she said, “At least I knew someone would take care of me”. Because her husband is Ugandan, they moved to Uganda where she had her first child at 15. She has had 3 other children of her own and adopted at least 4 others. At 26, she is the mother of 8 children. Her husband is currently unemployed. I’m not quite sure if he was laid off of a former job or if he chooses not to work. Despite him not working, Agnes makes paper bead necklaces to support her family. However, making them is an extremely laborious and time consuming process and selling them locally barely covers the expense of the materials.
She has three babies- her youngest by birth is 2, Michelle is 7 months, and Trust is 1 ½. Both Michelle and Trust were abandoned by their birth mothers. Trust lived a couple houses away and Agnes noticed her sitting outside until 10 at night. Agnes went to the house and confronted the mother about neglecting her baby. Agnes told me that Trust’s hair was white-ish and all you could see of her was two eyes and bones. The mother said she didn’t care and couldn’t care for her and told Agnes she would just take her to the mother-in-laws house. Agnes informed me that mother-in-laws of illegitimate children have a bad reputation for killing the babies. Agnes told her that she would not let that happen and told her she would take her in herself. After she took Trust, the mother left and hasn’t been back. Thankfully, Agnes was able to nurse Trust back to health but she still remains quiet and sad. Agnes told me she thinks something happened to her while she would sit outside as a baby. Agnes took in Michelle’s birth mother before she was pregnant. After she gave birth, she left without warning and without her baby. Agnes had to feed her with cows’ milk that her body couldn’t digest properly. She is now able to begin eating solid foods and has a huge appetite! I have high hopes for her to be a healthy weight soon! Her mother also has never been back.
My heart slowly began to open up more to this family. I began feeling their pain and also their joy and wanting to share whatever I had with them. When Agnes first asked us to sell her necklaces, I wanted to say no because I didn’t want her to be dependent on us in any way. But whether it was the “right” choice or not, I agreed to take some beads to sell and find a way to send the money back to her. Not only does Agnes support herself, her husband, and at least 8 children, but she is also supporting her friend and her family. Her friend has HIV/ AIDS and does not have the finances to afford medical care let alone school fees for all her children. Her husband died of AIDS and she is all her children have. She admitted to us that she fears for her children’s futures because she knows she will not be on this earth much longer and they will be left without any support.
If Agnes, with so little can give so much, why can’t I? Agnes gave us quality time with her and her precious little ones, she gave us her friendship regardless of what we did or didn't have to offer, she gave us meals, she taught me about selfless love and faith in God's provision. I want to help, I want to give selflessly, but how do I know when I’m helping or hurting? God has been teaching me so much about what selfless giving looks like through Agnes, Krista, The Well, and the woman in the Gospels who poured her perfume on Jesus. I want to give freely and outrageously without hesitation like Mary did in John 12:1-11 when she poured her most valuable possession over Jesus’ feet. Serving God is costly and dirty. It cost Mary her life savings. She bent low and washed the dirtiest part of Jesus’ body. In stark contrast with her humility was Judas Iscariot. He was arrogant, thinking he knew better than her. He was skeptical and cynical, mocking her for her “useless” act of worship. However, true love and sacrifice don’t seek utility or personal benefits. I want to be like Mary giving lavishly and impractically because I know serving Christ isn’t the means to an end but an end in itself.
Take a trip coverage is made to shield your health, items, plus your finances during ones vacation
ReplyDeleteCayo Coco